:: Handling my frenz... ::

ever since i entered poly, i started to widen my circle of friends by joining clubs (cadc, cls, spsu, cssc)... even when i 1st entered poly, i chose to join csc... thru the orientation camps, i got myself into seeing alot of new faces and making new frenz... to me, frenz juz come and go, but memories and experiences stay...

everytime when i got myself into knowing a big grp of ppl from camps... we will stick quite close together and go out almost everyday... however, as soon as school starts... our frequency to meet drops...

luckily on this world, we got the internet for me to keep in touch with frenz... at current stage, i am more attached to msn and yahoo grps, over the former icq(if anyone remembers it.). i dun really like the idea of the no. of contact limit msn imposed... else i could haf place a few hundreds of frenz (new or old) inside like icq... so i got to delete off those ppl who i dun really chat with them often on msn and will not come to chat with me... of coz, this does not mean the end of the frenship...

to me, they r juz taking up a slot in my msn and who knows my contact could have been removed from their list... in the recent 3yrs, my msn contact limit had overflown for 6 times...

since i often make new frenz thru many means... it's inevitable for me to bump into ppl who cant really get along well with me... a typical list of ppl who i dislike r on this blog... pls do a simple search by rolling ur mouse (lol... i'm still so primative... well, i'm using optical mouse le :P) and ur eye balls around in my blog...

my 1st approach would be likely to have a gd talk with dat person... but if i see it's not working, it will be isolation and keep my profile in their lives as low as possible... this is to avoid further conflicts and unhappiness, till the stage where the friendship no longer holds... of coz, they are still free to touch in contact with me, juz dat i wouldnt take the 1st step to get them out...

to me, every friendship is precious... we r being brought together for some reasons for sure... then let time heal the disagreements and some time later when we meet again, we can still greet and smile with each other...

of coz, i will try not to let the past disharmony comes in between us... however, it will still serve as a guide for me to handle dat person according... if disputes were to come in again, i will be back to isolation...

i noticed most ppl have a tendency to share how they feel abt a person behind their backs... if it's some gd comments, it will be nice... however, too often... ppl r toking badly behind others, then it will be unfair to dat person and may do dat person harm also... some ppl's thought could be easily distorted and the target could lose some frenz...

also, even if the ill talks abt dat person is true, it would be better to let the person know what is going on and let he/she decide whether they are willing to improve... even some1 who is given a death sentence are still given rights to talk and make his/her last wishes...

i came across ppl who ill talks behind others b4 for quite alot of times... my suggestion for them is to let the target know abt it...

some responded dat they dun wanna be the bad person to do so... i think if you dun wanna be the bad person, then might as well dun bad-mouth behind others... u will end up as a bad person if u r a back strabber.

some feared to approach the prime target, as they thought dat their friendship could be at risk, but believe me... if u ever let dat prime target know u r talking badly behind him/her... u r putting dat friendship at greater danger...

some came to us as a thought of goodwill, as they are trying to warn us abt the prime target. Thnx for ur intention, but i believe dat i am good enough to judge a person myself... if u over do it, u will be gaining bad impression of urself to me instead...

wonder why i am so concern abt ppl who r being back strabbed? coz i was once a victim and i believe many of us were too... 1 of my belief is... never do the things to others dat u do not wish others to do to u... the negation is also valid... do things to others dat u wish others to do to u...

also if u were 1 of the listeners of the ill talks... pls be conscious dat popularity of the person who spread it must not be a factor to influence ur talk... very often, we r so easily shifted by ppl who we trust, like and believe... it's always gd to hold some certainty of doubts and not too much or none at all... then use ur own judgement to eliminate or amplify the certainty... pls dun rule out the possibilities of a misunderstanding is involved or the person who backstrab could be the evil person...

for my case, if i ever haf bad opinion of a person... i will not spread it to my frenz...
i believe my frenz r gd enough to judge on their own... unless i see harm or possible threats for my frenz, i'll step in...

lol... finally did a piece of thinking material again after so long... & i am really servicing my aim for setting up this blog... to know me better and to think more... :)

"knowledge and wisdom are useless if we dun think when we r using it..."

+ BL updated @ 10:22 PM

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