:: A bad news received... ::

rite after i did my last 2 entries...my bro came into my room and told me dat my cousin is hospitalised. i was shocked and speechless... and wat shocked me even more was she was actually hospitalised 4 days ago...

my cousin was 10 years older than me and my mother regards her as a daughter of her own. maybe coz my mother does not have any daughters at all. therefore, to me, she is my eldest sister. i still can vividly remember the times when i stayed over at her place during my secondary sch holidays. she taught me how to play mahjong, many other poker card games and we would try our best to complete as many super intendo games as possible. she always praise me of my talent in playing super mario...keke...after i got into poly onwards, my contacts with her reduced...nevertheless, i would pay her a visit during my exam period to take a short break from my studies...she is quite a capable joker and never fails to crack me up...if u ever wonder how come i am so crappy, she is the mentor...she told me b4 dat, "no matter how u choose ur life, life still goes on. so why not choose a happy life..."

only last dec, when i 1st heard dat she contacted cancer... then the following day, my bro and i went to visit her. from her appearance and behavior, she tried to be calm and as normal as she can, but there are times where i caught her frowning and sweating non-stop. even at my maternal grandmother's funeral, she was still displaying the similar signs. to verify my doubts, i asked her whether she was in pain and she admited it. since young, she have been a smoker, refused to eat vegetables and have irregular sleeping habits. hence, after years of abusing her body, the tree of pain has finally fully-developed... the tree has even scattered little seeds of pain in most of my family members from my mother side, even i was not spared. though there r times, when i would fear to receive the news of losing her one day. i would recall wat she told me b4 and lead my life the way i want to be. i also strongly believe dat she would not want to see me in pain for her too. i should not be sad when i see her later...i must not... :)

+ BL updated @ 4:12 AM

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