:: lost...all lost... ::

wat a lazy sat afternoon. again all alone in pgp, i took an afternoon nap... i dreamt dat i served fish porridge to my grandma.

at 1st, she was making all the preparation all by herself in the kitchen, as i was beside watching after her like wat i did in the past. then she started banging on to tables and walls, so i began to guide her instead. she even forgot where she last placed the porridge too, dat made me laugh in my dream. however, as soon as i brought the porridge to her, i woke up. a feeling of sadness dat carries some traces of joy burst out of my heart, all these old memories appeared in my dreams and disappeared when my eyes were opened.

when i was staying with her many years back, sometimes i would cook some pasta for supper and both of us will share the food together. also, every morning at 4+am, she will definitely wake up and start boiling water. When she was done, she would quietly sit on a stool in the living room waiting for the right time to wake me up. normally near 6am, she will wake me up. despite she was blind, she was able to make rather precise indication to time, using the sound produced by the cars dat moved along the road next to our block. this was a mystery to me during then until there was a few times, i woke up together with her at 4+am to observe each and every actions she made. at last, she would ask me what is the time whenever more than 2 cars moved along the road.

she will make a cup of super brand 3-in1 instant cereal before she wakes me me every morning. as i was consuming my breakfast, she would keep asking me whether is it 6am already...as she would not wan to miss listening to her favourite FM station, 95.8. Radio station and news are her only source of entertainment when she is alone in the house. she would sigh deeply when news of any tragic incidents was reported. to me, she got a golden heart, a pair of eyes made using her mind and very sharp ears.

recently, i lost not only my grandma... all my precious files dat i kept since 1998 were gonez... i have been reformating my computer again and again, dued to virus invasion thru the network. on the 3rd and last time, i forgot to backup on own personal files. hence, all my files were gone. my personal photos of my family and frenz, anime photos, poems and short msgs dat i made, poly and nus experimental reports were all gonez...

i came a thought, people and objects in life will not always stay but only memories will always remain with us. even if we pass on, memories will still disappear but luv will surely remain.


+ BL updated @ 4:46 PM

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