:: Made my choice... ::

i guess i cant run away from my cousin visit for too long...today, my other cousin sms me and here it goes...

MingLi: "U coming to visit sis?"
Eclipse(after some thoughts): "2mr morning"
MingLi: "Oh can.. Up to u loh...Don't think she's discharged so fast..."
Eclipse: "How is her conditions and emotion?"
MingLi: "Still need to do op for her urinary passage. But still in pain. She's ok. Sad but ok."
Eclipse lost...and dun know how to reply...hence, the conversation ended...

actually, to visit her is quite an easy thing... but to see her hidding her pain, while keep smiling and joking is a painful thing. it's always part of her nature to do dat, coz she dun want us to worry abt her too much. i guess this runs in the family...i also inherited this behavior too... dat's y i can tell it... she is not juz a cousin to me, coz i always regard her as my elder sister... i hate the feeling when i feel like crying out, but i cant... my tears duct seems to have malfunctioned... all the sadness bottled up and trapped at my eyes... the pressure at the eyes was high and my mind felt heavy, as my visions turned foggy but still no tears... so many yrs have passed... i cant even forced a tear out, whenever i am depressed... not even at my maternal grandma's funeral 6 months ago or the ending day of csc camp... am i still human or juz a piece of flesh walking ard??

well, it's time for me to face it... hopefully, i will be able to see her happy from the bottom of her heart... so i have decided to bring mygameboy advance down to keep her busy, think she will enjoy it... heehee...

+ BL updated @ 4:55 AM

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